I have reached my quota for phony behavior. I'm don't pretending that the "fake 'til you make it" mentality works in marriage. I'm done being married. I have spent the better part of the past 3 years learning what a mistake I made in marrying Jordan, and letting him get under my skin. No more being used, no more being mistreated, and no more mind-games.
Religion has thoroughly fucked up my head, and aside from a few key life principles, I denounce all ties to it. You can keep your "sense of community" and your fear of the after life. I live THIS life, and what happens in the next, I have no control over...and neither do you! So you can miss me with THAT bullshit.
My family can go to hell as far as I'm concerned. They're over-tones over religion have made you callous, unloving, uncaring, and disconnected. Your love is conditional. You've never supported me as an independent, free-thinker. So you can keep your conformist kool-aid. I don't need it anymore.
As soon as I stop listening to everything I was ever taught, and did the OPPOSITE...shit got done. I found peace of mind. I found an inner happiness I'd never known. I found what I've been seeking my whole life...and it wasn't what God or the church gave me. Was inside the whole time...and he showed it to me. For the rest of my life meeting him will be the pivotal moment when I knew my life was going to change. The moment he said: "I don't need you" was when everything shifted. I have had more happiness in the past year then I could have imagined!
I am divorced.
I am a heathen.
I curse like a sailor.
I love with my whole heart.
And I make no apologies for my behavior or choices.
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